Quarter-Life Crisis

April 13, 2023

This post is a shout out to all the millennials, gen z-ers, and fellow twenty-somethings.

It's part of the human experience that sometimes we feel stuck in life or just generally lost. Like you're not sure what you want to do or where you want to go? 

It can be a source of comfort to learn that you're not alone in feeling that way. And as much as it sucks, it's all part of a process some people go through while adulting. 

For me personally, it's hard to pinpoint (especially since I didn't know a young life crisis was legitimate/allowed/real) but I probably experienced this phenomena on and off since I was 16. So I'm writing with a bit of personal experience.

But don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom. I wouldn't get very many readers if it was. lol 

So in today's post, we'll be exploring what exactly a quarter-life crisis is, a little bit of its history, and why it's so important to talk about.

What is a Quarter-Life Crisis?

You might not be familiar with a quarter-life crisis, but I'll bet you've heard the term mid-life crisis before. They're kind of similar, but at the same time distinctly different because of the age difference. Different ages equals different stages of life and different circumstances. 

A quarter-life crisis, also called a young life crisis, is when you feel like you're stuck in a rut or unsure of your purpose in life. 

It's that moment (usually defined as being young adults in their 20's) when you start feeling uncertain about your future and start questioning everything in your life, from your career to your relationships. 

You might feel like you're in a bit of a rut, unsure of where you're headed, and wondering if you're on the right path. 

Or because of all the questions you might feel like you're driving yourself up a wall. :) 

It's a time characterized by self-doubt and confusion, but at the same time it can also be a rich time of self-discovery and growth, with the right mindset.

It can be a rich time of self-discovery and growth!

A Little Background

The idea of a quarter-life crisis has been around for a while, but it wasn't until the 2000s (hello millennials and gen z) that it really gained common use. 

In 2001, psychologist Alex Fowke wrote a book called "Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties," which also helped coin the term.

Importance

I feel like this quarter-life crisis is the sort of topic that is important, but never acknowledged or talked about. I didn't find out about it until recently.

So just talking about the topic can take out a lot of the fear and uncertainty when those types of feelings pop up. 

If you have a mentor to talk to, this can be a great way to open up a conversation about the challenges and opportunities that come with adulting. 

As we dive in deeper remember, it's okay to not have all the answers about your future. It's all part of the journey. Just keep exploring, growing, and talking about your experiences. And don't forget to have some fun along the way!

Signs and Symptoms of a Quarter-Life Crisis

Think you might be having a quarter-life crisis? 

You might be experiencing one if...

Feeling of being stuck in life or feeling lost: You might feel like you're not making any progress in life or that you're just going through the motions without any real direction. 

Feeling unfulfilled despite achievements: You might have achieved some significant milestones, but still feel unfulfilled and like something is missing. (This hit me hard at graduation.)
Fear of missing out: You might feel like you're not living your best life or experiencing everything that life has to offer. You might worry that you're missing out on something important.
Fear of the future and making wrong decisions: You might feel anxious about what the future holds and worry that you're making the wrong decisions in life.
Feeling of loneliness and isolation: You might feel like you're alone in your struggles and that no one else understands what you're going through.

Physical and mental symptoms such as anxiety and depression: You might experience physical symptoms like trouble sleeping or headaches, as well as mental symptoms like anxiety and depression.

So this is the downer part of this post, but don't worry - it's not the end!

Causes of a Quarter-Life Crisis

The next step it to figure out what's causing these feelings of uncertainty and confusion?

These are some of the main sources:

Cultural expectations and societal pressure: We're constantly bombarded with messages about what we should be doing with our lives and how we should be living. From social media to family expectations, it's way too easy to think we have to meet certain standards.

Lack of clarity and direction in life: It's really hard to feel like you're making progress in life when you don't have a clear direction or clear goals. It might seem similar to floundering.

High expectations and unrealistic goals: It's great to have big dreams, but sometimes those dreams can actually work against you if they're so big that they make overwhelm you and look impossible to achieve. It's important to set realistic goals, be kind to yourself when things don't go exactly as planned, and always always count the little wins along the way.

Financial and career-related stress: Money is one of the most common sources of stress whether you're twenty-something or older. However when we're just starting out, trying to find that sweet spot between balancing financial stability and career dreams can be tricky. 

Relationship and identity-related stress: More and more, our society is both pushing people to question their identities as well as contributing big time to identity dysphoria. So it's no surprise that relationships (which are still maturing during our twenties) and identity can also be major stressors. 

Coping mechanisms

So what can you do if you think you might be experiencing a quarter-life crisis?

Here are some tips and tricks that you can start implementing in your life today to help you cope and find your way forward. Try one or two, or all of them and see what really works best for you!

Self-reflection and introspection: Take some time to pause and deliberately think about what you want and what your personal values are. Journaling, meditating, or just getting out in nature are all great ways to do this!

Ask for help: This depends a lot on your own self evaluation of your internal state. But I truly believe that everyone (myself included) can benefit from receiving help to help navigate tough times and gain a new perspective.

Trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone: Shake up your routine! This could be in the form of trying a new hobby, getting a new job, or just doing a new hairstyle. By taking risks and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone you will grow and learn more about yourself.

Building a support system: Surround yourself with people who love and support you. This can include positive friends and family, mentors, or even a more structured support group. Just make sure that they are positive and encouraging sources.

Practicing self-care and self-compassion: Taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally will make it so much easier to feel better. A lot of this is common sense. Eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. And be kind to yourself.

Developing a positive mindset and gratitude practice: Shift your focus off of chaos and back onto the good things in your life and regularly practice gratitude. Keeping a gratitude journal, writing down your small wins, and celebrating successes are great ways to start! (I cannot stress how important mindset is, guys.)

Prevention

And of course, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. 

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

The best way to help yourself is to avoid the quarter-life crisis altogether.

So if you're in high school or college, or wherever, here is some advice for you:

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

-Aristotle

 

Explore self-discovery: Take some time to start really getting to know yourself and figure out what you want out of life before you're thrown into the fray. If you can, travel, try new things, and take risks to help you learn about yourself and what you enjoy. Remember you don't know if you'll like something until you try it.

Do a reality check on your expectations and goals: Set goals that are challenging but that won't stress you out and break them down into smaller, bit size steps. Don't compare yourself to others or set unrealistic expectations for yourself based on someone else.

Build up your sources of support: Have a game plan and a build a strong supporting network that will support you and catch you if things get hairy. If they know you pretty well (like friends and family) they might even be able to spot speedbumps that you aren't even aware of. And more importantly, by tending to your own mental health early on you can normalize nd take the apprehension out of seeking help when you really need it later.

Build healthy relationships: This should be a fun and easy tip! As you naturally interact with different people, use these opportunities to learn how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and cultivate lasting relationships.

Learn about money and personal finance: If you already know how to budget, save, and the basics of investing it won't be so scary when it comes time to actually do them. Dave Ramsey is a great resource to start learning how to effectively manage your money.

Remember, it's never too early (or late :) to start taking care of yourself and planning for your future.

It's never to early or late to start.

And that's all for this blog. 

Remember that by dealing with the root causes of your quarter-life crisis you can begin to move foreword and start enjoying the season of life that you're currently in. 

There's nothing wrong with you, quarter-life crises are a normal and natural part of the messy process called adulting and it's a necessary step in figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. 

So embrace the journey and stop and smell the roses.

♥♥♥

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